i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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