So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
