oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
