hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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