you mean i was at the winter classic?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
