What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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