You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
