I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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