rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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