so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
