What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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