You work out of a Hotel?
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
either way he was missing a nipple.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
