Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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