Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
