Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize