I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
