Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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