break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
