jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
