ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
