I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
