Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize