Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
