piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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