just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
