You made me cry and you don't even care
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
