I can text with my tongue
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize