There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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