She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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