If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
