I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
