its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
