yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize