i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
