He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
