I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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