I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
