Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
