if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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