He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize