I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
How's work?
Spinning.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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