You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
