Hey man sorry I got all grabby
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
do herpes really smell.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
