The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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