Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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