I hope mine doesn't look like that
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
