Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
