So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
