oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
