Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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