so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
