Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
