he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
