Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
