He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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