fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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