He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
