in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
