You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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