idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
