I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
