I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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