Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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