i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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