i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
